Countdown to Chloe's EDD --- 12 Days to go

I had yet another night of fitful sleep where I woke up almost every hour. I finally gave up trying to go back to sleep at around 6am and just laid there, feeling somewhat disappointed that I woke up having to 'conquer' yet another day again... another day without Lucas and Chloe, another day closer to Chloe's due date, another day closer to Lucas' 1st birthday, another day closer to when I will be reunited with my babies.

I had thought that my sleep pattern had improved, but the problem seems to be coming back again. Perhaps it's because Mark is not here this week... I always feel insecure sleeping alone, even in my own house. Hopefully it'd go back to normal tonight cos I don't know how much more of it I can take. Insufficient sleep equates to a bad day ahead for me, and I don't need anymore bad days.

Since I was up early, I decided to ransack the house for the teddy bear ornament from Harrods that I got for Lucas last Christmas. The bear has got the words 'My 1st Christmas' on his belly and the year '2008' inscribed on one foot and 'Harrods' on the other. I thought I had lost him and had been searching for it for a couple of weeks already... I also got pretty mad at myself for misplacing something so important. Thankfully, my efforts were not in vain, after ransacking all the possible places for the nth time, I found him hiding in the chest of drawers in the living room. I had searched that drawer at least 5 tmes previously and have never seen it. Oh well... at least I have found him now.

As I was typing this out, I decided that I will name the bear. I like to name things.. a 'festish' I have had since I was little (LOL!!). Among the things my sis and I have named - we named a caterpillar that we found amongst my mom's plants (can't recall the name though), we also named an insect that we found in our room (we called him 'Alec' cos it had a big head and looked brainy, hence 'Smart Alec'), we named a lizard that lives behind the kitchen cabinet Lizzie (Lizzie the Lizard, get it?) and of course the countless hamsters that came and went (there was Russell, Big Brother, Axel, Paddypaws (my favourite so far), Mei Mei, Moosie...).

Lucas's bear will be named 'Noel', French for 'Christmas'. Noel will 'live' in Lucas's Treasure Chest and every Christmas, he will make his appearance where he will be displayed on the living room shelf with pride. I will get Noel a 'companion'... cos Chloe too, will have her own ornament come this Christmas.