I spent the small hours of the morning tossing and turning in bed. After an hour, I gave up and turned on the TV. Big mistake... The program they were showing on Home and Health was called 'Making Room for Baby'. It is a D.I.Y renovation program that helps new parents do up their nursery. Can't help but think of the room I have next door that was meant to be the nursery. After I lost Lucas, I have been referring to it as 'Lucas' room'... Guess I should call it 'Lucas & Chloe's room now.
When we were first renovating the house last year, I already knew I was pregnant but we didn't know the baby's gender yet. Hence we decided to use a neutral color for the room and ended up with pale yellow wall paper. We never got the chance to decorate the room into a nursery though... never had the chance to add in cute decals to make the room more nursery-like... never had the chance to buy the baby cot... didn't a chance to fill the room with the sweet scent of a baby... didn't get a chance to hear the cries as well as contented gurgles of a baby within those 4 walls.
That room has become a painful reminder of what it should have been. I wonder if that room will one day become the safe sanctuary of a growing baby, and see that baby develop into a chubby toddler, into a mischevious school-going child, into a gawky teenager...
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