Countdown to Chloe's EDD --- 10 Days to go

Today is exactly the 100th day since I lost Chloe... the 100th day since I last saw her pretty face, the 100th day since I last held her tiny body, the 100th day since I first (and last) kissed her. Somehow I thought of the song 'Here Without You' by 3 Doors Down. My wounded heart is aching even more as I listen to the song because it describes exactly how I feel today, plus the coincidence of the first line in the song.

Right now, I feel like this song was written just for Chloe and I. **Chloe Sweetie,

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

When I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth this morning, I noticed that the bottle of Johnson's & Johnson's Kids shampoo had somehow tipped over and a third of it's contents had spilt out onto the counter. So how come I am using kids shampoo? When I was pregnant with Chloe, right around the begining of my 2nd trimester, I started losing hair B.I.G time. To minimise the hair loss, I went to cut my long hair short and started using a milder shampoo, i.e. kids shampoo, to curb the problem. It did help and the problem went away as suddenly as it came.

Somehow I associated the sweet berry scent of this shampoo with Chloe, and have continued to use it (I am into my third bottle now). I feel a sense of calm every time I smell the scent... it reminds me of my time with Chloe. I had actually kept the bottle of the very first bottle that I finished because of it's sentimental value (the bottle that I used when I had Chloe).

So how did the shampoo bottle tip over? It couldn't have been the wind cos the bathroom windows were shut as we turned on the air-conditioner last night. It is not Hershey cos the bottle is on the opposite side of the bathtub where she couldn't reach. Mark swore that he didn't do it.

Could it be Chloe's way of telling me that she visited us on her 100th day anniversary and it's her way of giving us a sign? (**Chloe baby: Yes sweetie, I know you were here...)