A Ruffled Mind Makes a Restless Pillow...

Oh dear... I had yet another bad night. I think it's almost been a week now that I haven't had a night of good, uninterrupted sleep. The frequency and type of dreams are becoming ridiculous really, and it's just so hard to go back to sleep after I've been jolted awake. And just when I manage to doze off (usually around 4am or 5am), Mark's alarm would go off and there'd be a flurry of activities in the room as he goes about to preparing for work. Of course there is also Hershey, who loves to pick that time of the day to act all sweet and cute. She laid ON me again this morning... here's the evidence.

After my previous post about my dreams of falling into a 'dark, gaping hole', Fion obviously went to do some 'research' and sent me the below. Most of it seem to be pretty accurate... perhaps except that last paragraph. **Fion, did you make it up to try and make me feel better?**

I truly, honestly do not have a solution to my own problems. I have known all along what' is really bothering me, and they are:

1. I want my 2 babies to be here with me but this is not possible, hence (cont'd in #2)
2. I want to go and be with my 2 babies but this is also impossible.
3. I am dying to find out the cause of my recurring miscarriages but the doctors can't seem to be able to tell, so (cont'd in #4)
4. Should I even plan for baby #3? What if my body kills another baby again?
5. If I don't try for baby #3, I am positive it's something that I'd live to regret forever... but will I be able to take another blow if I also end up losing baby #3?

I don't have answers to my questions, and I doubt anyone has the answers too. I do wish I can find myself a burrow to hide in, just for a little while until I sort out my thoughts and until I feel strong enough to face the world again.

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Dream Interpretation: Dreams are your thoughts and worries and concerns and fears of the day, being re-hashed and reorganized by your brain while you sleep. Dreams don't mean anything but what you were thinking about.

A hole is a tricky or difficult situation. A bottomless pit may seem our problems have no end. Like a tunnel without the light at the end. It can also mean the emptiness or hollowness we sometimes experience in our lives. Our not being in control of things. Like a black hole in space.

In Greek mythology there was a king destined for eternity to push a stone up a hill. When it reached the top, it rolled back down. And he had to start over again. Life is sometimes like that uphill battle - a slog, a struggle.

But a hole can also mean the opposite - being a place to hide. A refuge from danger or trouble. Like a mole or rabbit burrow.

Falling into or down a hole is being in touch with unconcious feelings, urges and fears. So maybe you have found a way to tackle what is troubling you. You might not realise at first though....