Playing alone in the little ball house without his pushy big brother interrupting his play. He had a great time, but I didn't cos he threw a lot of balls out of the house and guess who had the honor of picking them all up? 

(Those balls are getting a bit dusty and my boss (i.e. Mark) has been asking me to clean them. How to clean? There are hundreds of balls inside that playhouse and I certainly do not have the time to take each of them out to wipe! Hmm.. maybe the person who came up with the idea and who incidentally is also the one who purchased both the house and those balls should clean it?) 

 

Don't know what the f*ck is going on, but I have attended more funerals in the past 12 months than my entire lifetime combined. This so has to stop. 

My aged uncle passed away mid last week and his funeral was on Sunday. In the last 12 months, I have held in my arms a father who was grieving for his only son and also wives grieving for their husbands (my mother-in-law and recently, my aunt). That is not a nice feeling. My heart was aching for the ones I was holding in my arms, and I cannot even fathom how they must be feeling inside. I can only imagine that maybe they are feeling like how I felt when I lost my Angels.. like someone stabbed your heart and took a part of it away forever.. or that your life will never be complete again.. or you are sucked into this dark spiral which you'd never emerge from ever again..  

After losing Lucas and Chloe, I have learnt that the best way to console someone who has lost a loved one is not through words. Honestly, nothing you can say will take away any of their pain. So all I do now is simply just hug and hold them in my arms and hope that by allowing them to cry, it will ease some of the pressure.

Going to funerals always helps me put things into perspective and a reality check. Or like a slap across the face that screams "Wake up!". Life is transient and so very fragile.. time to pay attention to what really matters to us (for me, it is without a doubt my family) and prioritize those mundane day to day tasks (i.e. work, household chores) that always end up taking over our lives without us realizing it. When I die, I'd rather be remembered as 'a loving mother/wife/sister' than a 'domestic goddess'.

Having some rub-a-dub fun in the bathtub!Once Den-den can balance better, we will put him in there too.. he's still not 100% steady on his feet and the bathtub is quite slippery even with the rubber mat. So for now he can only watch from the sidelines as his big brother plays happily inside.

Trying to perfect his victory sign.. Every time we ask him to pose for a photo now, he will happily flash his victory sign!

Where flowers bloom so does hope...(Part III)????

When I was pregnant with Kyran in 2011, the plant that I kept on our master bedroom balcony started flowering and I had a special post about it cos I felt that it was a good omen. It was the very first time that the plant flowered ever since we bought it in 2008. To be honest, when we bought the plant, we didn't even know that the plant bore any flowers.. it was just, well a green palm looking plant that looked nice.

Then it happened again when I was expecting Ayden. Perhaps it is just coincidence but it has become somewhat significant to me since the same thing happened previously. Naturally it warranted another post from me. 

Then lo and behold! Guess what caught my eye when I was working from the bed one afternoon! My plant is flowering again!! (As far as I am aware, I am certainly not pregnant now, but hey, who knows what will happen later right?) 

**Mark darling, you have been duly warned... :) **

Little Bun is 28 Months Old!!

Yet another month has flown past... Little bun is 28 months old. Did I ever mention how much I love him and how much he means to me? Right, I guess I may have.. but just in case there are any detractors out there, I am saying (ok more like typing) it again. I will give up my life for him. Plain and simple. Don't quite know how else to express in words how much I love him (and Den-den).. These boys mean the universe to me and I will physically kill someone (if I have to) just to keep them safe. As in I swear I will tear apart anyone who tries to harm them with my bare hands. If I am wearing my heels, I swear I will poke the perpetrator's eyes out and make sure no amount of surgery can save his/her sight. (Or maybe I can just sit on the person until the person suffocates to a slow, painful death..)

Well, the reason for me being in this mood is because a colleague recounted to me an incident last week when some stranger attempted to take her 18 month old niece from the childcare she was attending, claiming to be the kid's relative. The crazy bitch actually knew the child's full name, but thank goodness for vigilant teachers who called up the child's mother to verify, the crazy bitch's attempt was foiled and she ran away while the teacher was on the phone with the mother. Police report was made, etc.. but just the thought of how close that crazy bitch came to taking someone else's child away is scary. It could be this child today, and your child tomorrow. We can never, ever be too complacent.

Ok, back to the main subject. Here we are at Universal Studios Singapore (again) last weekend! He was happily dancing with the street performers and happily pointing out Elmo to me.

A friend posted this on her Facebook and I could immediately related to the text. 

I have ALWAYS hated my spare tyre ever since I was a teenager. I hated how I had nice, slim limbs but always carried excess fats around my middle. Until today, it is still giving me grief on a daily basis as I dress to go out/ to work.. I always have to find something to wear that doesn't make me appear like I am pregnant and have to make a conscious effort to suck in my tummy. Alternatively, I cover up with a shawl or cardigan. (Unfortunately, for majority of women with PCOS, this is a very typical problem..). My biggest fear is someone giving up his/her seat for me on the public transport thinking that I am preggers.. **God forbid!!**

The ONLY time in my life where I could wear figure-hugging clothes without feeling self conscious was when I was actually pregnant. Only then could I happily parade around with figure-hugging clothing. It really is not because I was a fat, pregnant person who couldn't afford bigger clothes or had a wardrobe malfunction and didn't have very good dress sense. It simply was because I was ecstatic I could finally look pregnant and actually was pregnant without feeling self-conscious.  

Anyway, after reading that, I started to see my spare tyre in a whole new different light. I still don't like the looks of it for sure, but I am grateful that it kept my 2 boys (and gave them ample cushy support) for over 9 months each. Oh yes, and without the 'fatty tyre', those tummy injections which I had daily during both pregnancies would have hurt a whole lot more too! 

Little bun's teacher sent me this series of photos taken during his class's Chinese New Year celebrations. No idea why he was pulling that cheeky face, but this is quite typical of him when he is in a good mood and being mischievous. 

Sending him off to school over the past week has been a marked improvement from when we first started. He will happily give me a 'high 5' in the car before walking off towards the school with Mark. At the school entrance, he will say 'bye bye' to Mark before turning around and running eagerly into his class. On a few occasions when we are at home, he will suddenly say 'teacher' (in Mandarin) and when I ask him 'Do you like your teacher?', he will respond with 'I like'. 

As an overly-protective and anxious parent, nothing is more assuring than this.. At least I know my child is happy in a place where he spends up to 4 hours daily, 5 days a week, and he is enjoying himself there.

Little Bun #2 is 11 Months Old!!

Den-den turns 11 months old today and I realize with a startle that my Den-den is only a month away from turning ONE YEAR OLD!! My chubby, happy-go-lucky baby is looking leaner these days but is still as cheeky and jovial as ever. 

Unfortunately (for me, that is) his first (and currently, only) words are 'Papa' although unlike little bun, Den-den is very much a mummy's boy. He still can't walk unaided yet, but will happily cruise around the house with the help of furniture, and boy is he a 'crawling torpedo'. Just a few days back, he was crawling the house following me from room to room as I went about doing some housework. When he couldn't catch up with me, he got frustrated and suddenly sat in the middle of the hall, let out a frustrated wail and looked forlornly at me. Couldn't resist him so I stopped what I was doing and picked him up. 

Happyyyyy 11th Month baby boy!!! I wish you will stay a baby always, really cannot believe how fast you are growing up and we love you so much!

Photos taken during our recent trip to the pool (just before everyone fell ill). The kids had a great time cos we had the entire kids pool to ourselves the whole time we were there! Even den-den, who didn't particularly like being in the pool previously, seemed to be enjoying himself. 

Hand-stamping! This kept him entertained for a fair bit of time.

 

Didn't have a very auspicious start to the Year of the Horse. In fact, it was awful. I caught a cold before the eve of the Lunar New Year and it dragged on into the holidays. And then of cos little bun had to catch the bug from me and he was one crabby bun. Both of us sneezed and wheezed our way through the New Year and just as we were beginning to recover, Den-den caught the &^%$#@% bug!! Because we were unwell, we tried to stay at home during the holidays and we drove each other insane. The boys were unwell and lethargic and needy and grumpy (list goes on).. and Mark and I were equally frustrated. 

Let's just say the year did not begin on a very good note for us and we were all glad to go back to work when the holidays ended.