15 Oct --- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I was checking my email this morning and I received an email from the Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss Support Group that I joined on Facebook. On 28 Sep 2006, October 15th had been declared as the 'Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day' in the United States.

Somehow I feel comforted knowing that I am not in this alone, and that there are people out there who care enough to recognise all these precious little lives that were lost either through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. It feels good knowing that there is actually a day set aside to commemorate all these lost lives, lives that are otherwise forgotten by the society at large.

When a baby/ child dies, they leave behind a trail of broken hearts and a sea of shattered dreams and hopes in the lives of the people they have touched. However, it is sad that there is not much support given to these families. Society just expects one to move on and 'get over it', and this is especially prevalent in the Asian context. My doc had mentioned to me that studies have shown that pregnancy/ infant loss had been recently recognised as a prominent cause for depression in a lot of people, mainly in women. This definitely did not come as a surprise to me cos I am a living example.

The grieving process is a long and hard one, and the doc had told me that it could take up to 2 years before the pain actually begins to get 'better'. So it's another 20 months to go for me.. Actually I could possibly take even longer cos my grieving process is two-fold. I didn't properly grieve for Lucas the first time round, so according to the doc, the impact is doubly hard after I lost Chloe. This is totally fine with me cos I think I 'owe' Lucas that... I loved him as much as I loved Chloe, so it's only fair that I grieve for him properly too.

I recently also read from somewhere that 'Grief is the price we pay for Love', and when I read it, a lightbulb lit up in my head. I can totally relate to that... and this verse could become part of my next tattoo. At least now I know the reason why I am grieving so badly and deeply is not because I am mad or abnormal, it's because I have loved deeply, unconditionally and wholeheartedly.