Mark took urgent half day leave this afternoon to come home and accompany me cos he felt that I was too emotionally unstable to be left to my own devices at home. He knew how upset I was with myself for screwing up yesterday's post. Although I told Mark that he didn't need to come home, I was secretly grateful to have his company because I just feel so worn out with the array of emotions that I don't how for how long more I can go on for.
We spent part of the afternoon just holding each other, crying and talking about Chloe. About how much we missed her, about how she should have been in our arms now and about the dreams we had for her. It was a long, painful afternoon... my heart felt like it was coated inside and out with broken glass... With every pulsation of my heart, the the sharp edges of the glass was digging deeper into me, leaving wounds which would never heal.
All the crying from just now and earlier this morning is giving me a throbbing headache. What a combination... painful heart, throbbing head. Well, life still got to go on... I still have work to do, emails to read, deadlines to meet and conference calls to attend before I can call it a day. I wonder when I'd be able to truly 'call it a day' where my life is concerned. With my current state of mind, I hope the end is near.
No comments:
Post a Comment