Countdown to Chloe's EDD --- 8 Days to go

I saw this print advertisement in the latest issue of the Australian magazine that I always read. I can't tell you how it tugged at my heartstrings and how those 4 simple words 'if I grow up' made me want to curl up into a ball and weep to my heart's content because that advertisement totally reached out to me in a way that you'd never imagine.

That pre-term baby inside the incubator on the advertisement made me feel as though Chloe was THAT baby. If we had made the decision to resuscitate her, Chloe would have to spend months inside the incubator in the NICU, most likely with numerous tubes and needles in her tiny body, that is if she did not get any complications/ infections during the birth process.

I did not save my baby's future... My baby will not have the chance 'grow up'... I will not get the chance to see her first smile; hold her hands while she takes her first steps; hear her call me 'mummy'; tell her bedtime stories; buy her her first Barbie doll; braid her hair; prepare her lunchbox; take her to school on her first day of school; clean her scapes when she falls... all these and more. When I lost my daughter, I also lost the chance of a whole future with her, a whole new different life for our family.

All these happened because my baby's mom did not give her the best environment to develop in until she is strong enough to survive outside on her own. My baby did not fail, it's her mom who failed her.