Re-Opening of an Unhealed Wound

Mark is going on a business trip again tomorrow and will only be back on Friday... another 4 nights without him next to me. He was taking out his passport from the drawer when he found this crumpled Post-It note that somehow got itself stuck on the underside of the drawer. I don't even remember writing this note, but obviously it was from me... I do have this habit of sneaking little notes into his luggage/between his shirts/inside the pockets of his pants/rolled inside his socks whenever he travels and this must have been one of them. When he showed me this note, he had a look of raw sadness in his eyes.

Obviously the note was written when I was still pregnant with Lucas and Mark was going on one of his business trips... it must have been written between April to June 2008.. It is beyond me how it suddenly re-surfaced after more than a year and with us moving house after we lost Lucas.

Finding it is bittersweet... Bitter because in the short time span, I have not only lost Lucas, I have also lost his sister. Sweet because it is one of the few things I have that reminds me of my little boy. As I've only had him for 14 short weeks, there aren't as many things of him as compared with Chloe, hence this insignificant, crumpled, forgotten note has suddenly become so precious and important to me now.

This piece of paper will be kept in Lucas's Treasure Chest along with all the other things I have of him.

Dearly missing my firstborn... my 'Mummy's Boy', who'd have been 10 months old now.