Home Alone --- Day 4

I was suddenly reminded of this song out of the blue... I first heard this song in the movie Con Air... And when I left to study in Australia, my then boyfriend gave me a CD with this song. I listened to this song a fair bit during my early days in Melbourne when I was feeling quite lonely cos I have not made any friends yet.

Whilst I am on the topic of my then boyfriend, whom I shall call 'B', I think I owe him an big apology as I don't think I was very nice to him... although he was a nice guy and quite cute looking, he wasn't really my cup of tea as he was too straight-laced and serious for my liking... and he had a habit of checking on my whereabouts. I like my man to be a bit whacky, be able to do things off-the-cuff, make me laugh and care about me enough but not make me feel suffocated. Yes, that's how I ended up with Mark... LOL!!

Well I have to admit I broke up with B because I fell out of love with him and in love with ummmm.. **cough** Mark **cough**... Technically speaking I did not two-time anyone, but it's just that I feel a tad guilty for not breaking up wth him properly and for not telling him the 'real' reason... I cited 'distance' and 'differences' as my reason (they sound really lame to me now though!!), although the real reason probably can be described by 4 alphabets --- M.A.R.K... I am still trying to convince myself that a little white lie will probably hurt his ego a lot less than the truth.

Again, I doubt he'll ever read this and even if we bump into each other on the streets one day, I doubt he'd come up to say 'hello' after what I've done. Hopefully he's found himself a missus by now, someone who is a hundred times better than me.

Ok, I have digressed... (see, I was right when I told the psychiatrist that I have difficulty concentrating/ focusing!! :P) Let's go back to the song. When I listen to it now, I find a new meaning to it... I no longer hear/ think of it as a song for lovers. I listen to it with a whole new perspective.. Somehow it aptly describes my feelings and longing for Lucas and Chloe.

So can someone/ anyone tell me how I can live my life without my precious babies? Now that they are gone, there is really no more sun in my sky; there is no more love in my life; and there is no more world left for me. To put it simply, how do I live?

Funny how the same song when listened at different stages of one's life, can be interpreted so differently.

How do I Live

By Trisha Yearwood

How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you'd take away everything good in my Life.

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?.

Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I would be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?...

Please tell me baby..

How do I go on?
If you ever leave
Well baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know you're everything good in my life

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live