- This is my 2nd Christmas without Lucas, and the 1st without Chloe. How many more sad Christmases do I have to endure?
- As the current year is drawing to an end, it makes me think of what I have lost, what I have NOT achieved and how my life had been changed (in a negative way) in the past 2 years.
- The brand new year is just a fortnight away, and I will step into 2010 with trepidition. What will the new year bring? Will it be better than 2008 and 2009? Will I finally be able to bring home a healthy, brawling baby? Will Mark and I still love and care for each other as much as we do today?
I am kind of glad that tomorrow, I have a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist. It's been almost 6 weeks since I last saw her, and had initially planned to cancel the appointment as I thought I was improving and have somewhat regained control of my thoughts. But after how I had been feeling for the past week, I think I'd better stick to it (**sigh**)... Another trip back to the hospital.
Last night, I met Mark for dinner nearby his new workplace as I had a craving for meatballs and I also wanted to replenish the tealight candles at home. Who should we bump into as we were leaving the place? Dr T!!! Mark noticed him first and turned around to tell me. Good thing he didn't say 'Hey darling, it's your heartthrob!'. We didn't have the chance to stop for a chat with Dr T although I did wave and said 'hi'. My heart was thumping like mad and it happened too quickly so I was caught by surprise. LOL! I wish we had chatted... I would have wished him 'Merry Christmas' or something... alas...
Anyway, yours truly had a wide grin all the way home... (with Mark giving me poisonous sidelong glances). Reckon I need to speak to the psychiatrist about this too??
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