I think I can afford to heave a tiny sigh of relief now... I am past the stage of gestation where I lost Lucas. It is a stage where Dr Anu wants me to be extra careful and to watch out for. There are numerous 'hurdles' to cross... i.e. the first trimester; the OSCAR test; the stage of gestation where I lost Lucas; the next detailed scan at 20 weeks; the stage of gestation where I lost Chloe; reaching the 28th week of gestation; etc. As a matter of fact, for me every single day is a 'hurdle' (as well as blessing) in itself.
Many people say that once you are past the first trimester, you have reached the 'safety zone'. Well, this may be true for most women. Unfortunately, to me, nothing is a safety zone. There is no safety zone. Falling pregnant is not a safety zone. The second trimester is not a safety zone. The third trimester is not a safety zone. Birth is not a safety zone. The days after birth are not a safety zone. There is no safety zone. So how can I stand to go forward with this love, this immense love that I already have, for our baby-to-be? How can I learn to curb the love that I have for the little life that is growing within me?
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