Deja vu

Like many men, Mark loves his soccer (to watch, not to play) and is a fan of Manchester United. There was a 'big match' (in his words) in the wee hours, 2.30am to be exact, of Sunday morning between Man U and Barcelona, and he was determined that he would wake up to catch it. He even 'invited' me to join him in watching it and tried to entice me by telling me how exciting it'd be.

Anyway, he did wake up to catch the match while I remained in dreamland. I was woken up at around 4am by one of my frequent need to visit to the bathroom and since I was already awake, I went to join Mark in the living room to watch the remaining of the match. As I approached him, he gave me a pouty/ sad face (cos Barcelona trashed Man U, 3-1). I was hit by a really intense sense of deja vu and I felt the hair at the back of my neck stand. Then it hit me hard...

When I was pregnant with Chloe, there was also a night where Mark woke up in the wee hours to watch a football match (think it was the World Cup??). The EXACT same scenario played out and it was uncanny... i.e. I woke up for a pee break and then went to join him in the living room while he was watching a match. He gave me the very same sulky face as the team he was supporting was losing.

I am really scared... In my mind, it bothers me a great deal whether history would repeat itself once more. Is this some sort of a sign?? I am really confused, especially with all the medical problems I am facing now. Is this pregnancy going to end up like the earlier ones?

I have been praying hard, really really hard, for a different outcome this time. Please let this baby be ours to keep... pretty please.