For the third (or is it fourth, perhaps even the fifth??) day in a row, Mark and I had our 'daily sqabbles'. This is rather unusual because our relationship had always been smooth and we rarely have any disagreements. Stupidly, our recent fights were over trivial matters (actually I cannot even recall what the trigger for last night's fight was about).
This morning, Mark sent me an email from office to let me know how he felt. He wondered if my recent mood swings and super-sensitivity was due to our recent loss of 'the little one' (this was how he referred to our #3 and I thought it was sweet). Frankly I don't know what's wrong either, but I think the most probable cause is indeed the loss of 'the little one'. While this time it may not have devastated me as much as when I lost Lucas and Chloe, there were still hopes and emotions attached to this baby for those 10 days we had him/ her.
Most of Mark's email went by in a blur (blah.. blah.. blah...) and I only stopped right at the last sentence cos it brought tears to my eyes. Considering the fact that I have been very emotional, this shouldn't come as a surprise. Anyway, this was what he wrote 'Remember, Keat Keat (this is my pet name for Mark which is also part of his dialect name) wants to grow old with you.'
This morning (way before I read his email), Adam Sandler's 'Grow Old with You' kept playing (and replaying) in my head. I've always liked this song, especially the part about the remote control cos the TV controller in our bedroom is very 'highly prized' and almost nightly, we try to wrangle control over it... However, I didn't see any significance of the song until I read Mark's email. Coincidence?
** Darling, I am sorry I have been irritable/ emotional/ cranky and very hard to live with during the past week. I know I have made your life rather miserable even though you are having a rough time at work and at the same time also grieving over the loss of 'the little one'. I appreciate that you always take the time and effort to explain and rationalise things to me, and your never ending patience with me. Although when we have our tiffs, there are times when I really want to poke your eyeballs with a fork/ my heels, but please know that for the other 95% of the time, I really do love you a lot. Hehehe...
P/S: The remote control belongs to M.E tonight (and tomorrow night, and the day after tomorrow...) ok?
No comments:
Post a Comment