What a Wonderful World

I had a most wonderful Good Friday weekend with my 2 favourite boys.. we spent quality time together as a family and even managed to catch up with friends! Little bun was a trooper and despite the 3 days of non-stop activites, he behaved like a champion.

Little bun will soon be turning 6 months and after all these time of learning to be parents and getting to 'know' this newcomer, Mark and I are getting a lot more adept and confident when we bring him out. We know what each type of fussing means (i.e. hunger, tiredness, needs soothing or plain simple crankiness) and can better pre-empt them before the fussing progresses into full blown wailing.

My weekend was so simple, yet so perfect. I am once again able to find joy and meaning in my life. Before little bun came along, I'd never have imagined that I could ever feel happy again... I honestly never thought I'd ever be able to smile from my heart, but then he came along and changed my life.. or rather, he changed our lives.

Back to the Rat Race

It is my first day back to work… back to an environment which I am familiar with. It feels kind of strange to be back. I have been away for 18 months but it feels like I have never left! Most things have not changed (now is this a good or a bad thing?).

I was missing little bun terribly by lunchtime and was wondering non-stop if he was doing ok without me and wondering if my mom was able to take care of him. I texted my mom incessantly throughout the day to find out how things were and it does seem like little bun was coping with the change better than I. He was feeding and napping like a champion.. Clearly, he didn’t experience any of the separation anxiety that is plaguing his mommy.

Things I Will Miss

These are the things I will miss terribly when I start work tomorrow:

1) Being able to sleep in and only wake up together with little bun at 8am

2) Watching my favourite 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show' with little bun at 9am

3) Dancing with little bun when Ellen does her dance segment as she kicks off each episode (little bun and I have been dancing 'together' with Ellen for the past 3 months).

4) Taking afternoon naps with little bun

5) Watching little bun learn/do new things

6) Being able to cuddle little bun anytime I want

The list is doesn't just end here, but I have to stop because it's making me very depressed... Off I go to sob to sob my heart out.

I will be going back to working life next week after being away for exactly 1.5 years. This has been the MOST fruitful and rewarding 1.5 years of my life and I cannot believe I will be closing this chapter in a few day's time. I will no longer be able to declare myself as a 'homemaker' on those survey questionnaires. I will no longer be able to wake up at 8am and take the day leisurely at my own pace. I will no longer be able to spend all my time with my little sidekick beside me.

Much as I'd love to be a stay at home mom and spend time watching my little bun grow, I have to do my part for the family financially since Mark had been shouldering the burden and been the sole breadwinner for the past 18 months. Moreover, I know how important it is for us to get back on our feet where our finances are concerned because we have spent A LOT on my medical bills. I also want to start saving up for little bun so that we can provide the best for him. There's never going to be a win-win situation.. something's got to give. Moreover, if I ever plan to venture down the path of having another baby, we need to have a healthy savings for that.

I will be going back to my ex-company.. Yes, it is a miracle that my ex-boss is still so keen to have me back despite how I dropped the ball and left the job so suddenly. My ex-boss is a brave man. It is very flattering that he still hasn't given up on me and I hope I won't disappoint him (the keyword here is 'hope'. I have warned Mark not to be surprise to find me at home on a work day and me insisting that I will not leave the house without my little bun! LOL! Don't think he saw any humour in that though..). My ex-boss (soon to be future boss) had been very accommodating by allowing me to state my terms. I requested to work part time.. only on Tue, Wed and Thur so that I can spend 4 days every week with little bun.

So this is it... I will be starting work coming Tue. I have been a bag of emotions this week.. after a 1.5 years hiatus, I don't know where I stand now and if I will be able to hit the ground running. Will I be able to cope again with people's expectations, the stress, workload, office politics, client demands, long hours, conference calls and **gasp** travelling? Will I be able to be apart from my little bun for 9 long hours? (I am already devising ways which I can sneak back home during lunch time.. this will have to include travelling time to and fro, eating, expressing milk and most importantly, cuddle time with my little man).

Little Bun's 3rd Vaccination

Took little bun for his 3rd (and last!!) vaccination!! There is only 1 injection this round (there were 2 for the 2 earlier jabs) but it still broke my heart to see his innocent little smile suddenly drawn down into a pout and then full-blown wailing. The wailing didn't last long fortunately, but my long-winded little bun was grumbling and complaining loudly in his baby language for a long time. The other people who were in the waiting area were all smiling and a lady even commented that '"Ahh, he is very unhappy with the nurse, must be scolding her!" Heeheehee.. my little man is certainly one who tells you what he thinks!

I texted Dr Anu while we were in the clinic and told her that we were around. She came by to say "hi" to the little life whom she played a big part to bring into this world, and she spent some time playing with little bun and catching up with me. She commented that little bun is a spitting image of his daddy (Daddy: 329 Mummy:0). Boy, I really miss talking to her and seeing her kindly face! Dr Anu asked little bun to 'ask daddy and mommy for a little brother or sister'. (This message was promptly relayed to Mark although he feigned ignorance).

Before we parted ways, she told me she is very happy to see the glow of motherhood on my face and that Mark and I are so happy now that we have little bun in our lives. She also added that it is stories like mine that makes all the long and erractic hours that she puts in at work worth it.

Hmmm.. I suddenly have a strong urge to heed Dr Anu's advice and try for another little one again! (No, this doesn't have anything to do with the sad fact that I will be rejoining the rat race coming Tuesday). Sighhhhh..... Ok who am I trying to kid??

My slightly feverish little boy on the night of the injection. He is wearing one of his 2 brand new pyjamas that was given to him by one of my doggie friends in the US (it's got doggies all over it!!). He's such a lucky little boy with so many nice clothes given to him by my friends from around the world!

Ok so it happened again... in one of my blog posts in Nov 09, I shared my musical encounters in the lift at my apartment complex. In a nutshell, I heard music coming from the lift/lift shaft which on normal days is always silent (exept the 'beep' when the lift doors are closing).

Late one night when little bun was fast asleep, Mark and I sat in the dining room discussing his dad's recent health problem. It was already close to midnight and as we were preparing to go back into the bedroom, I heard the faint notes of 'Oh my darling, Clementine' coming from outside the house! (Previously it was 'Hush Little Baby'.) I ran to check it out and it came from the direction of the lift, but there was no one there! The lift only serves 10 units in my block, so it is quite under-used.

I looked at Mark to see if he had heard it as well (just in case it was my weary mind playing tricks on me), and he heard it too! The music lasted only for a few seconds before fading away. The whole enounter lasted no more than 10 seconds.

I am more baffled than ever... Is it a 'techinical glitch' or something deeper than that?

It may only be a minor superficial scratch, but it broke my heart to see it on little bun's face. Not sure how it came about, but the most likely possibility is that he somehow scratched himself... My poor baby! :(

Little Bun is 5 Months Old!!

My little man is 5 months old!! He's getting cuter, bigger, noiser and much more interactive as the days go by. Where is that tiny 3kg infant that I brought home 5 months ago??! I am happy that I have managed to exclusively breastfeed him till now. Initially I didn't think I'd last more than 3 months, but I did! Hoping that I can keep it going till he is at least 6 months. It'd be rather difficult once I start work (yup, I am starting work soon.. more details another time) in April.

Little bun celebrating this little milestone with Daddy... Daddy with a pint of beer and little bun, well, with mummy's milk!

We also marked this day with our very first family 'art project'. Actually we had bought the canvas/paint for a while but just didn't had the chance to do it. It was very fun, and VERY messy. It didn't occur to either of us that at this age, little bun prefers to clench his fist more than spreading it open for us to do the imprint! Overall, I am really pleased with the end result, though it'd have been better if there was enough space to include Huskee and Hershey's paw prints too.

Found these 2 'old' photos while going through the photos on my phone... They were taken on Mark's second independent attempt at changing little bun's diaper. I cannot say that he did a good job, but what it did was it gave me a very good laugh.

I was in the shower when Mark decided to change little bun's diaper and I heard yelling for help.. What I heard was "how come the diaper has wings?". I couldn't figure out WTF he was talking about so I ignored him... Cussing ensued, followed by random punctuations of "stupid wings", "what do I do with the wings", etc. The only 'wings' that I know are those belonging to birds, as well as the other kind that appears on

sanitary pads. I have changed enough diapers for little bun to know that diapers DO NOT have 'wings'.

This is what I saw when I emerged from the shower.

My dear husband had taped the side velcros in such a way that the 'extension tabs' have ended up as 'wings'. My poor son.

What a Difference A Year Makes...

Today marks the one year anniversary of the very first time Mark and I 'saw' little bun in Dr Anu's clinic. I still recall it very vividly cos it was just a day after our 13th anniversary and I told Dr Anu after she confirmed the pregnancy that it is the best present for Mark and I. It marked the start of our long and very exciting journey towards parenthood.

Yup, this is little bun one year ago... that little blob of dark mass/cells in the centre of the picture.

And this is him one year on... With the help of divine intervention, a healthy dose of faith, modern medication and being watched over by my Angels, that little mass is now a thriving 4 and-a-half month old weighing 7kg! (I wouldn't have believed it myself one year ago) My little blob is now a healthy, happy, cheeky, charming little 'Eeeeeeeee Eeeeeeee' boy (that's currently his favourite sound ever since he found that he's got a voice).