Don't know what the f*ck is going on, but I have attended more funerals in the past 12 months than my entire lifetime combined. This so has to stop.
My aged uncle passed away mid last week and his funeral was on Sunday. In the last 12 months, I have held in my arms a father who was grieving for his only son and also wives grieving for their husbands (my mother-in-law and recently, my aunt). That is not a nice feeling. My heart was aching for the ones I was holding in my arms, and I cannot even fathom how they must be feeling inside. I can only imagine that maybe they are feeling like how I felt when I lost my Angels.. like someone stabbed your heart and took a part of it away forever.. or that your life will never be complete again.. or you are sucked into this dark spiral which you'd never emerge from ever again..
After losing Lucas and Chloe, I have learnt that the best way to console someone who has lost a loved one is not through words. Honestly, nothing you can say will take away any of their pain. So all I do now is simply just hug and hold them in my arms and hope that by allowing them to cry, it will ease some of the pressure.
Going to funerals always helps me put things into perspective and a reality check. Or like a slap across the face that screams "Wake up!". Life is transient and so very fragile.. time to pay attention to what really matters to us (for me, it is without a doubt my family) and prioritize those mundane day to day tasks (i.e. work, household chores) that always end up taking over our lives without us realizing it. When I die, I'd rather be remembered as 'a loving mother/wife/sister' than a 'domestic goddess'.
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