Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Letter to My Angels --- 4th Aug 2009


To my precious Angels,

It's mummy's birthday today. Sadly, mummy and daddy never had the honour of having either of you with us on our birthdays... Sadly, we will never have the chance of celebrating YOUR birthdays with you... Sadly, for the second consecutive year, mummy and daddy have spent our birthdays in tears rather than in joy...

It feels so utterly wrong and against logic that as parents, we have to mourn for the loss of our two babies and yet still be alive and well on our own birthdays. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around, i.e. the children are supposed to mourn for the death of their parents instead. If there is anything that I do or can give up in order to have you back, I will do so without hesitation.

Today, mummy received numerous 'Happy Birthday' greetings from well-meaning friends and family, and each time I heard it, my heart cracked little bit more. How is my birthday going to be 'happy' when both of you are not by my side? How can I be happy when my heart is numb from the pain of losing you? To put it simply, how can I ever be 'happy' again in this lifetime?

I have told your daddy not to buy me any present because I have everything I can possibly need, and as for the things that I want, he (or anyone else) cannot give me. You know what I want my sweet darlings? I only wanted you... Nothing more, nothing less.


As long as I live, you will live in my heart;
As long as I live, you will be remembered;
As long as I live, you will be loved.

Missing you, my sweet angels...
Love Always,
Mummy

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