Chloe Lee - 3rd Year Anniversary

Looking back, I wonder how I survived through the Junes of 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011, especially the first 3. Lost Lucas in June 08; lost Chloe in June 09; was miserable, empty  and hopeless in June 10 and finally in June 2011, I had a 'bun' baking in my 'oven' though the outcome was still unknown.

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of us losing Chloe. I wonder where she is, how she is and what she's been up to... and I wonder if I'd ever stop wondering about my Angels.

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To my sweetheart Chloe,

I'd (still) love to know what happened on that fateful day 3 years ago, 24Jun, when my waterbag started leaking. Was it something that Mummy did or something Mummy ate?!  It was way too early for you to be born as you were barely 24 weeks old. Unfortunately, all the things the doctors did to stall the contractions were in vain and you arrived 2 days later on 26Jun. At the advice of the doctors, we made the decision to let you go.. I still wonder if that was the right decision. All I knew was that I didn't want you to suffer and I didn't want your quality of life to be compromised, BUT what if a miracle happened that went against all the medical odds?


I'm sure you already know that you are a big sister now and your little brother is a happy, thriving little boy. The first time I held your newborn little brother in my arms, I thought of you and of that first and only time I held you in my arms. The circumstances were so similar, yet so very different I'd have loved for him to know about his big brother and sister. When he is older, I will tell him all about his Angel Big Brother and Angel Big Sister who will always be watching over him.


I still wish I can buy you those lovely dresses that I see.. or those cute little hair clips that I can pin on your hair. I held you for a moment in my arms, but you'll stay in my heart for a lifetime.


Be good, sweetie.. till we meet again.

Loving and Missing You,

Mummy (and your Daddy too)