Right. I have learnt something new. Apparently sciatica can also be caused by pregnancy. Sciatica in pregnancy is rather common and although not serious, it can caused a lot of discomfort (this I can attest to!!). I am still not convinced that my sciatica is caused by the pregnancy cos I have not put on that much weight (yet). So far, I think my weight gain is bodering around 2kg... Of all my pregnancies, I think I have the least weight gain this time.

Before going to bed last night, I gave Mark my very best Puss in Boots impersonation from Shrek... basically I wanted him to use the deep heat muscle relaxant balm to massage my whole left leg, from calf to thigh. Mark dislikes getting any kind of medicated balm/lotion/cream (you name it) on his hands. Thankfully he obliged, albeit with a pout and some deep sighs which I decided to ignore. All was going well UNTIL he came to my thigh and he commented with much gusto "Whoa darling, your thigh is really big". Hmmmph. I think his strategy worked... I do have second thoughts about asking him to massage my leg tonight.

SCORE: Mark = 1 , Shane = 0

After scouring the internet for more information on the weird pain on the left side of bum to calf, it seems like I have found the answer-- Sciatica. After what I have read on this topic, I am almost fully convinced that this is it cos I am have the 'cause' (i.e. prior back injury) as well as the 'symptoms'.

Sciatica Symptoms

The most common symptom from sciatica is pain. Most people describe a deep, severe pain that starts low on one side of the back and then shoots down the buttock and the leg with certain movements. Sciatica can also cause hip pain.

1. The pain is usually worse with both prolonged sitting and standing. Frequently, the pain is made worse by standing from a low sitting position, such as standing up after sitting on a toilet seat.
2. In most people, the pain is made worse by sneezing, coughing, laughing, or a hard bowel movement. Bending backward can also make the pain worse.
3. You may also notice a weakness in your leg or foot, along with the pain. The weakness may become so bad you can't move your foot.

Unfortunately the pain is not getting any better... I was initially hoping that it'd go away on its own after a few days. Since I will be seeing Dr Anu in less than 3 hours, so I will ask her about it (and see if she agrees with my self prognosis). Above all, I am more excited to see little bun on the scan later. Praying hard that the pregnancy is progressing as it should.

Good news is that my freaking backache which had plagued me for over a week is gone. It had since been replaced by a weird and unknown pain that begins from the top of the back of my thigh (almost at the bum) and radiates all the way down to the back of my lower calf. It's been 3 days already and it shows no signs of going away. And to make things worse, tossing and turning in bed can result to a sharp, stinging pain (somewhat like a permanent cramp) that causes me to jolt awake AND stay awake.

First time in my life I have had this kind of pain... it's NOT that I am an athlete or that I have ran a marathon. All I have done is (mostly) sit/ lie around at home. I wouldn't be so concerned if this is a pregnancy symptom, but instead of normal pregnancy symptoms (which fortunately have evaded me), I get weird symptoms of unknown origins. I guess I can only laugh about it and acknowledge that it is just me. C'est La Vie... heehee...

People who know me well and long enough know that I am usually very prone to getting headaches or migraines. The strange thing is I was totally free from headaches and migraines when I was pregnant with Lucas and Chloe, hence I was rather confident that it'd be the same thing this time round, but apparently it isn't so.

Last night after a take-out dinner, I had a massive MSG-induced headache that went from a nagging ache to a full blown nausea inducing headache within the span of 2 hours. (I know it was MSG-induced because based on 'experience', my usual headaches and migraines start from the moment I wake up and the degree of pain remains somewhat constant throughout the day. MSG-induced headaches can start from anytime of the day, usually after a meal of course, and the pain intensifies within a short period.)

By 10.30pm, I was writhing in pain and the throbbing only progressively worsen with each passing minute. Mark tried to relieve my agony by massaging the back of my neck and my temples, which unfortunately only aggravated the throbbing. I naively thought that I could try to sleep the pain away, but it only got worse. By 11.30pm, I was quite ready to bash my head into the wall. Eventually, I gave in to the urge to throw up and out came most of my dinner. It was a huge relief for me because I felt soooooo much better afterwards.

It was definitely the worst headache I have had in a looooong time, and I hope it would be a loooooong time before I feel that way again. For the record, I am going to ban that store where we got our dinner from.

IVIG (#2)

I went for my second round of IVIG and the infusion took slightly longer than the first time. A whole hour to be exact, but it's no big deal cos I have nothing to do anyway. It's just that being 'trapped' in that same chair for five whole hours can be quite a pain. Acutally it kind of reminds me of being in a plane, but the only difference is for this, when I go to the toilet, I need to drag the whole IV stand in with me... Oh yes, and I can only use one hand cos the other hand has the needle inserted and is all tangled up with the tubes. Fun times.

** Mental note to self: Wear a skirt or dress the next time.

I took a cab home and 3 minutes away from the entrance of my destination, the cab I was in very nearly had a bad accident with another car!! I was totally shaken up, as was the cabbie... I am usually not an advocate of cabbies because I personally think that many of them are road hazards. In this instance though, I am on the cabbie's side. The other driver of that bl**dy flashy and expensive car was simply being reckless!!! I am glad other than frayed nerves and a near heart attack, there was no serious damage. I was being very stupid too cos I didn't wear the seatbelt... my excuse was 'it's only a short ride'. I promised myself that I'd never take it for granted again, and will always wear a seatbelt no matter how short the ride is going to be.

When I recounted the incident to Mark after I got home, he told me that it must have been our Angel who are watching over me and little bun, and they ensured that we got away unscathed. Thank you, my darling Angels... I love you so, so much.

(Uh oh.. I don't think I told Mark the part where I wasn't wearing the seatbelt... guess I'll be in for a lecture when he gets home tonight.)

OSCAR screen

Mark acccompanied me to little bun's OSCAR (One Stop Clinic for Assessment of Risk) screen on Tuesday. This scan is more detailed than the normal ultrasound scans that Dr Anu performs and it is to meaure the nuchal translucency (NT) of the baby. This scan plus blood test gives an idea of the background risk of Down's Syndrome (Trisomy 21), Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18. I have done this test previously for both Lucas and Chloe, and I have always enjoyed the duration of the entire scan because it gives a very detailed view of the baby.

Little bun's NT results fell within the 'normal' range at 1.7mm (anything below 2.5mm is considered 'normal'), which was a huge relief. I kept peppering the sonographer with questions like 'Does everything look ok?', 'What is that black spot in the stomach?' (it was little bun's bladder.. heehee), 'Is that bright white line the baby's spinal cord?', etc. Little bun had his/ her left arm (yes, it looks like an arm now, no longer an 'elongated bud') raised for a long period during the scan, as if he/ she was saying 'Hi Mommy!'. We were also able to detect little bun's slightly raised nose bone, which is a good sign. Usually babies with Down's do not have a prominent nose bone.

Mark was strangely subdued and when I asked him, he told me that he is trying not to be overly happy or carried away because he is fully aware how we can be robbed of all our happiness in the split moment. We were so happy with the results of both Lucas and Chloe's OSCAR tests, but look at what happened in the end. It was a sobering thought.

Just before we completed the scan, I whispered to little bun to try and stay inside mummy's womb for as long as he/ she can. Hope little bun got my message...

Dr Anu is happy with the resultsm and during the consultation with her, she told us that she had discussed my case with a group of her colleagues and the general consensus is that I may not need to have a cervical clerage after all. She will monitor the thickness of my cervix on a weekly basis, and we will only put in the stitch if my cervix shows signs of weakening (**knock on wood**). I think I am happier with this arrangement because I have been reading up on cervical clerages and it poses a certain risk of miscarriage and/or infection, which I DO NOT want.

Something that I did on Thursday caused me to hurt my lower back... it is an old 'injury' which I have had since I was a teenager and it only haunts me when I am careless with how I sit/ bend over to pick things/ stretch to take something, etc. The pain is pretty bad and I can barely get in and out of bed without assistance. Sitting down too fast also aggravates the problem. It actually started to subside gradually on Saturday, but on Sunday night, I sneezed twice while I was lying down in bed and oh my goodness, I felt that someone stabbed me on my lower spinal area. So yes, the pain is back again... worse than ever.

Other than being a pain in my back (literally and figuratively), it also makes doing simple daily chores a real hassle. I can't bend down to refill Hershey's water bowl, can't bend to put down/ pick up her food bowl, can't bend to pick up her poop... basically I am useless with anything that's on the floor. Sitting for too long is a no-no too. I guess it puts added pressure on the back, hence I may have to postpone my scheduled ironing today.

It's going to be a long day tomorrow cos I have 3 separate doctor appointments. One in the morning and two in the late afternoon... as fate would have it, my appointment to see Dr Anu is the last one. Hmmmph! I am usually very worried before these appointments, but somehow it is even more so this time. Just hope that everything goes swimmingly well with little bun.

Mark came out of the shower yesterday and in a rather excited tone, told me to listen carefully to what he was going to saying next:

It's kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Till the day we meet again

After I heard it, I was totally impressed and thought to myself 'Whoaaa, my husband found inspiration while taking a shower??!'. In the end I found out that it was part of the lyrics of a Puff Daddy (or P. Diddy... or whatever he calls himself these days) song, I'll Be Missing You. Big anti-climax... somewhat. Should have known better that Mark is a gadget/ techy geek, not some romantic bloke!!

Mark always plays music on his iPhone while he is in the shower, and his choice of music is so very different from mine. The music he enjoys is what I would classify as 'noise'... for me, Pachelbel's Canon in D had been accompanying me during my showers for the past few weeks and I have a feeling it's here to stay for a while more.

Anyway, he heard this song while he was in the shower, and the reason why this small part of lyrics stood out to him is because every single night without fail (the only exception for Mark was the night of his brother's wedding when he was well... drunk), we will say a little prayer plus individual 'good nights' to our Angels. I hope that this is a sign from our Angels that they are indeed smiling down at us from heaven, and watching us while we pray for them.

Again, I am questioning myself whether I did the right thing by Chloe.

Just caught an episode of 19 Kids and Counting where the Duggar's 19th baby was finally discharged from Neonatal ICU after spending 4 whole months there after she was born prematurely at 25 weeks of gestation. Baby Josie celebrated her milestone first birthday in December 2010, although she still needs constant monitoring and oxygen when she sleeps.

So did I do the wrong thing by giving up on Chloe? Should I have given her the chance to fight for her life? Have I been a selfish mom? Would Chloe be here with us today had I made a different decision?

This is the latest 'look' of my tummy. Mark commented that it reminded him of the world map, I guess what he meant was that my tummy is the 'globe' and those bruises are the 'land masses'. I have had these bruises for weeks now.. everytime an old one fades away, a new one develops. I guess this is the side effect of the nightly heparin injections to prevent blood clots. When one is on these injections for long enough, the medicine takes effect and the reverse happens, thus you get bruised very easily.

Fortunately, it looks more painful than it really is. It is only (really) painful during and immediately after the injection is being administered.

Right side

Left side