After Dr T told me about my Thrombophilic condition, he warned me twice NOT to read too much or google about it too much. I guess I must have been like an open book that he could read my thoughts so accurately... So, did I listen to him? Of course I did not!! An ex-colleague once told me 'information is power' LOL!!... Well I do agree with it but only to a certain extent, sometimes ignorance is bliss too.
Anyway, I disobeyed Dr T's warning and went to read up as much as I could... the result? It totally freaked me out! (I am sorry, Dr T..) It seemed more serious than I initially thought and while there are medication available during pregnancy, they only decrease the chances of a miscarriage. The word 'decrease' worries me.. I guess what I really want to hear is 'eliminates the chances of a miscarriage', and not 'decrease the chances of a miscarriage'. And while I was reading up on thrombophilia during pregnancy, I 'accidentally' read up on other pregnancy issues as well... so what did it do? It made me 100 times more worried than when I first started. The moral of the story?? Listen to your doctor!!
I also asked him if I should just raise the white flag and give up on having my own baby altogether... Fortunately, he sounded pretty confident when he said that I should not give up just yet, especially since I was able to conceive Chloe fairly quickly with the aid of fertility treatment. As such, I shall learn from my mistake and I will listen to my doctor!
Dr T had referred me to a fertility doctor and I will see the him on 14 Sep 2009. I guess in the next few months ahead, it's one step at a time --- with fingers tightly crossed. Hopefully Lucas and Chloe will bless their mommy with a little baby brother or sister soon and they will watch over and protect the baby.
Mark was concerned about me wanting to try for another baby because apparently being thrombophilic and pregnant not only poses risk to the pregnancy/ baby, there is also risk to the mom... something about developing blood clots (deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolism) which may lead to maternal death. Knowing about this actually is the least of my worries. I think currently I am just too focused on trying to get pregnant again. I really miss all my pregnancy symptoms.. and feeling a life inside me. I can't even put into words how much I miss the feeling of Chloe moving in me.. It's a feeling that I will always treasure and never forget. If I could/ have to give up my life for Lucas, Chloe and/or my future baby/ babies, I would do it without hesitation.
I guess for now, I can only put my faith in medical science.. and in God.
No comments:
Post a Comment