Mark and I attended a lunch wedding reception of one of our friends (the groom) whom we knew during our days in Melbourne. I still remember when I first knew him, he wast a shy, studious boy who first arrived in Australia to study. Fast forward 7 years... he is now a confident young adult who also happens to be a doctor!! And today, he became someone's husband... in a matter of time, he'd be someone's daddy.
I never fail to cry at other people's wedding.. but weirdly enough, I did not even come close to shedding a tear at my own wedding! LOL... The wedding that I attended today was very touching, especially the part where the groom seranaded his very pretty wife during the march-in.. as well as the part where they thanked their respective parents. The love between the couple, as well as the love they shared with their families, is clearly evident. I only wished Mark and I had also done that (i.e. thanked our parents) during our wedding 3 years ago. I chickened out because I hate public speaking... and I think I suck at it.
While we were leaving the place, I saw a car decal with the words 'God is always with you' on the car that was parked in front of ours. The ever so cynical part of me couldn't help but wonder 'If that's the case, then where was He when I truly needed Him?'... Please don't tell me that the reason why I only saw one set of footprints in the sand was because He was carrying me on His back. I am pretty convinced that the set of footprints was mine and mine alone. If He was carrying me on His back, I am sure I wouldn't have felt so abandoned, so lonely, so helpless, so worthless, so depressed up until today, this minute, this second.
On my wedding day 3 years ago, I'd never have imagined the pain Mark and I have to go through... and I'd never have imagined that our first and second born children would be angels. If only I had known, I might not have chosen this path... If I'd stayed single, I could have prevented the loss of 2 innocent lives, and I could have prevented Mark from suffering the pain of losing 2 of his children.
Here we are, 3 years ago, blissfully
unaware about all the heartache and tears ahead...
No comments:
Post a Comment