Our first photos with Rynnae taken on the first day of Chinese New Year! She is exactly one week old when the photo was taken and when Mark and I saw her for the first time, we were very surprised at just how tiny she was. She only weighed 2.8kg (or around 6 pounds) at birth, looks totally exquisite (ok, in my eyes, ALL babies are exquisite). I tried to find every opportunity to hold her, pat her, stroke her, caress her cheeks and sniff her adorable baby scent.
Totally enjoyed spending time with her and something as simply as looking at her sleeping so snugly and contentedly in her cot can be so fulfilling. She also gurgles and pulls the cutest faces when she is asleep... possibly dreaming of something nice.
My sis-in-law (aka Rynnae's mom) must have by now learnt from her husband and/or my mom-in-law about my sob stories with Lucas and Chloe as well as how Mark and I are struggling to conceive now. When we were alone in the room, my sis-in-law told me that she hopes my god-daughter will usher a little baby to me this year and that by the next Chinese New Year, Rynnae will have a playmate. When she saw how I was cradling Rynnae and cooing over her, she again said that she hopes that Mark and I will be blessed with a baby soon.
Holding Rynnae brought back bittersweet memories of Chloe. Chloe was obviously lighter and smaller since she was premature, but that maternal feeling of remains the same... I miss that feeling. That is the feeling of cradling a tiny, vulnerable being in your arms and the onslaught of the primal instinct of wanting to protect, nourish and love it with the core of your being and every single ounce of your soul. I miss that feeling and I love feeling that way.
This year, I have had many different people wishing me that THAT particular wish of mine will come true... with all the blessings that I have received, I truly hope so. Dear God, please please please grant me my wish. I promise I'll never ask you for anything more for the rest of my life.
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