What a Difference a Year makes...

My dream woke me up this morning. It was so vivid and the feeling was so intense that I almost thought it was for real. In my dream, I was desperately trying so hard to hold on to someone's hands... I don't know/ didn't see the 'owner' of that other pair of hands, but I did 'see' that the fingers are short and 'plumpish'... like a young child's hands. All I knew was that I was struggling to hold on to them while this other 'person' and I were being forcefully pulled apart.

I wonder if that dream holds any significance at all since many say that dreams are our subconscious self trying to tell us something. I wonder whose hands those were? Why was I trying so hard to hold onto them? Who is forcing us apart and why? What is the underlying message behind this dream?

I confided in Mark about my dream after I calmed down, and he eagerly shared with me that he had a dream too. He had dreamt of a baby and he knew the baby was Chloe because in his dreams, he heard Chloe's song.

It didn't take me long to realize the coincidence of both our dreams and today's date. Exactly a year ago on 10 Feb 2009, I happily called Mark to break the news to him that I was pregnant. We first found out about Chloe's existence exactly a year ago.

One year on, the feelings are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

A year ago, I was the mom to an Angel boy and a 'soon-to-be mom' to a baby girl... A year later, I am the mom of 2 Angels.

A year ago, my life was filled with hope for the future... A year later all my hopes have been dashed.

A year ago, I'd have expected that I'd be holding a baby in my arms... A year later, my arms are still bare.

A year ago, my heart was bursting with happiness... A year later, it is shattered into pieces.

What a difference a year makes.