When I went back to the office on one of the days last week, I bumped into a colleague who is supposed to be on maternity leave. She came into the office with her husband brand new baby to distribute cakes for the baby's one month celebration.
It is so painful to watch the happy portrait of another person's complete family...
It is agonizing when I look at a baby being cuddled lovingly in his/her mother's arms...
It is excruciating when I realize that this is something my Angels and I will never enjoy...
It is unbearable to be reminded of my losses, and be inflicted with this 'dagger in the heart' feeling time and again.
I wonder how much longer I need to go through this torture before someone can show some mercy... or how much more my heart can stand being tormented before I finally lose it. It's been over 7 months since I first (and last) held Chloe, and over 19 months since bidding farewell to Lucas. The pain of losing them has not subsided one bit, and at the same time, my love for them has not dimished either.
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