'When grief gets too much...' --- Coping with Loss

I came across an article in today's papers called 'When grief gets too much'... Well, there's no way I could've missed it because it is right on the front page, and it's a tragic story that had caught my attention days ago.

I can relate to so many parts of the article, but the part that was especially poignant and hit the nail on the head was this - 'People need answers in order to get closure and move on after grieving. If it's difficult to get closure, it can be very hard to come to terms with the loss.' Till today, I am still searching for the 'answer' as to why my babies were suddenly taken away from me to become angels.

I wish that someone had written this article 6 months ago, cos it'd have helped to make sense of things then. The article stated that 'grief is most intense at between three and six months after the death, when reality sinks in.' The darkest, bleakest time after losing Chloe was exactly at this time, three months after we lost her. This was somewhat unexpected because this is the time where people around me begin to think that the worst had passed and I should've been on my way to recovery... I thought so too.

Not many people have realized it, probably except Mark, but the period between September to December 2009 was indeed the toughest and most depressing period that I have ever experienced in my 30-something years. Looking back, I am amazed that I have 'survived' it and emerged rather unscathed, and at the same time, I pray I will never have to feel this way again in my life because honestly, I am not sure if I can deal with it and come out alive at the end. Once is one time too many.

Last but not least, grieving folks 'need the love and support of family and friends, who will let them heal at their own pace.' As I try and fumble my way out of this abyss, I do not ask for unsolicited advice, and I do not need harsh words or a talking-to. All I ask for from the people around me is just a little patience, a listening ear and/ or a shoulder to cry on. Hope that's not too much to ask for?

I found this image of the 'Angel of Grief'... I never knew something like this even existed, how fitting it is for this entry.