Saturday, July 17, 2010


Mark broke the news to me this morning over breakfast that one of our friend's wife is expecting again... I say 'again' because they just had a baby last May. Their #2 is due this October. Mark said that his friends had kept it from us because they didn't want me to be sad, but there's no choice that they have to tell us now because we invited them over to our place for Mark's mini birthday dinner celebration tomorrow.

I do appreciate their thoughtfulness and sensitivity... and I am happy for them. But I don't deny that once again, I am asking myself 'Why?'. Why not me? Why did I lose Lucas and Chloe? Why aren't I pregnant yet?

I tried to knock some sense into myself and make myself feel better reminding myself of what I have and to count my blessings. Truly I did try, but it only succeed in making me feel worse.

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