A few days ago I was in a cab and as we were stuck in rush hour traffic, the cabbie and I started chatting. Somehow he started telling me about his kids and how hard it is to raise a child in Singapore these days. From what he told me, I gather that he got married and had kids early... and he sounded wistful as he told me about how he wished he could turn back time and had planned properly before starting a family.
He then asked me if I was married and had any kids, so I replied accordingly... then he made the remark that it's good that I have 'planning'. Instinctively I corrected him by saying that where I am today is not part of any plan I have. His remark got me thinking for the rest of the journey... Looking back, Mark and I had planned to get married and kids will come later. We gave ourselves 2 years. We registered our marriage in 2003, had our customary in 2006 and conceived Lucas in 2008. All according to 'plan', it seems. But what wasn't 'planned' was not only have we lost Lucas, we lost Chloe too.
I personally know of people who had shotgun marriages and go on to have a complete family. In hindsight, Mark and I should have just shoved our 'plan' down the chute and started trying as early as 2003 or 2004. I'd have been in my late twenties then, so I reckon my cells/ body should have been younger/ healthier? Moreover, I have problems with fertility and as my biological clock ticks away, my challenge with fertility is hampering progress.
Now I ask myself, what's the point of trying to keep things organized and plan for things when life keeps throwing punches below the belt? C'est la vie...
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