This morning I groggily woke up to little bun's whimpering. I guess he'd been awake for a while already and decided it was getting boring so he wanted some company. Mark was already up but was in the shower getting ready to bring the bacon home. I am generally not a morning person, especially since I have been up 2 (or it could be 3) times last night feeding little bun and cuddling him back to dreamland thereafter.
I rolled over to face little bun and gave him a few feeble pats as I was still feeling rather grouchy (yup, no prizes for guessing who little bun inherited the grouchiness from!!) and still dying to fall back into the comfort of dreamland. Just at that moment, my little toothless boy decided to practice working his charms and flashed me a wide, gummy grin followed by a throaty "Ooooooo". He repeated this a few times and it melted my heart completely and woke me up instantly (this could be the BEST way to wake me up from now on.. **Mark, please take note**).
It was such a special moment, just between mummy and her little bun. Mark, who had by then finished his shower, saw the magical moment between us and our 'twosome' quickly became a 'threesome' cos I think the daddy was feeling jealous and left out!! Mark then made a remark that I will always remember (or until dementia sets in).
For the past decade, he had always been complaining about my stubborness (which I've vehemently denied) and we had many a fight about it. However, just this once, he admitted he is glad that I had stubbornly insisted on carrying on with fertility treatments and forging head with my baby plans. This is despite the numerous failures and hurdles that were placed in my/our path, and in the face of many naysayers. He acknowledged for the first time that if it hasn't been for my stubborness in refusing to give our baby making plans a break, our precious little bun wouldn't be here today and we wouldn't be witnessing/experiencing this morning's special moment.
***defensive mode kicking in*** I still (stubbornly??!) insist that I am not at all stubborn (LOL!!).. I'd much prefer the term 'courage'.
This is one of the quotes that I used to motivate myself during those months of seemingly futile fertility treatments:
'Courage doesn't always roar,
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow".' --- Mary Anne Radmacher
*** With that said, Darling, if you haven't indulged in me like how you always have, and given in to me and everything that I wanted, I might very well have raised the white flag at some stage too, especially after the ectopic pregnancy in Nov '10. You recall what I told you about my reply to Dr Anu when she told me that you are a great husband and she's glad to see how strong our relationship was despite what we were going through cos she's seen many couples struggle to cope with the stress? My reply to her then was this was precisely why I was determined to give you/us a baby is because you have been such a wonderful husband, so the only way that I can do you justice is to give you a baby and make you a daddy. I hope I did you proud and made you happy, finally. ***
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