H is for ....

A friend shared this on Facebook. This is exactly what happens to us every single night, except that I always face inwards looking at little bun instead of facing out as depicted in the illustration. Somehow I always wake up to find myself being pushed to the edge of my side of the bed (with pins and needles on my entire right arm due to my sleeping position). It has become a nightly routine where I have to re-adjust little bun's position so that I don't fall off and Mark doesn't roll onto him accidentally.

I suppose to some parents, this H-formation is 'Hell', but I beg to differ. To me, MY 'H' stands for 'Heavenly' and 'Happiness'.

Dragon Babies

A friend I recommended to the TCM doctor whom I used to see (she'd been trying to conceive for 2 years) gave me the good news that she's pregnant! She had seen him only for a couple of months before successfully conceiving. I am not sure if she conceived because of that (i.e TCM treatment) or it's just conincidence, but regardless, I am so happy to hear the good news..

This is the 9th Dragon baby (and counting) I know of... The year of the Dragon certainly bodes well to Singapore's fertility rate. Our Prime Minister should be happy.

Poop-ies

Never thought that I would be so obsessed with poop. Little bun's poop to be exact. I've read that as babies grow, the frequency of their pooping may lessen. Since birth, little bun had been a very 'consistent pooper' with a few dirty diapers on a daily basis (which is the norm for breastfed babies). There hasn't been a day without poop until lately where he had gone for a few days without pooping.

I keep an eagle eye on his diapers and counted the days... previously, IT happened on Day 06, and I was hopeful that it will go back to normal thereafter. No such luck. It is now Day 05 and I'm still keeping a close watch.

Dr Google says this is perfectly normal and rather common after babies reach 3 to 4 months. It should be nothing to worry about as long as the baby is feeding and behaving normally, and so long as it doesn't exceed 10 (WTF??) days. Hmmmmmm.....

In one of my earlier post not too long ago, I mentioned a friend who finally conceived a pair of twins through multiple tries at IVF. She just sent me a heartbreaking message that when she went for her routine check-up this morning, the doctor only detected one heartbeat. My poor friend is heartbroken... she is crying non-stop for the unborn life that was snuffed out too early.

I made sure that I didn't give her any of the so-called 'advice' that I received before, which hurt me more than helped me.. i.e. 'things happen for a reason', 'time heals all wounds' etc. I simply let her know that I care a lot about her, and that if she needs a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, I am available at all hours of the day (the perks of being jobless!). Also reminded her that she should now take even better care of the other little life whose heartbeat is still pulsating. I really hope the miscarriage will not affect the surviving twin.. but since it is fraternal twins, it should be fine **fingers crossed**.

Sigh... very affected by this news. It reminded me too much of my own painful losses and I can feel that familiar wrenching feeling in my heart. Praying hard for the well-being of the remaining baby..

As I type this out, I am looking at little bun sleeping peacefully beside me, counting my blessings and thanking God for the greatest gift of all. At the same time, my eyes are hot with unshed tears... I am missing my Angels.

Clearly I'm no longer the número uno on my husband's life. I'm more like an after thought... Or perhaps simply 'the one who does the ironing' (this role changes depending on the day of the week or the time of the day). It could also be 'the one who makes dinner', 'the one who feeds his son', 'the one who cleans the bathrooms', 'the one who prepares Hershey's meals', 'the one who does the laundry', etc.

Sigh...

Little bun gave my mom and I a heart attack the other day. He was lying in his cot and self amusing while my mom was sitting beside his bed watching telly. My mom suddenly screamed for me (I, the long-suffering housewife, was ironing hubby's clothes) that there's "blood in his ear"!! I dashed to his side and indeed, there was a pool of fresh blood pooled at the fossa section of his ear.. my heart skipped a beat (maybe two.. or three.. perhaps even four??!).

Thankfully, although it bled quite a bit, it was from an external wound. My mom kept asking me if it was from inside his ear, but after a thorough check, Dr Shane confirmed that his ear canal was dry and there's not a trace of blood. The only explanation I have is somehow, little bun managed to scratch himself with his fingernails as I could see a tiny cut. Who would've guessed a small wound like that can bleed so much??!

Off to trim some tiny nails...

Little Bun is 4 Months Old!!

Little bun is 4 months old today. He marked this special day by reaching yet another milestone, he can now roll over from his back onto his stomach unaided! He is pleased as punch with his newly acquired skill and keeps practicing it even when he is half asleep (last night Mark and I watched him execute the maneuver while he was semi-asleep with his eyes half closed. Our cute little bun never fails to baffle and amuse us with his antics!

Some of the nights as I lay beside my sleeping child, I still find it so hard to believe that I successfully carried him in my womb for 37 weeks and he belongs to me. Ok, ok, he belongs to 'us'. Mark never fails to correct me when I refer to little bun as 'my son'.. He is 'our son', happy??!). Many times I have drifted off to dreamland by staring at his beautiful face or by gently stroking his chubby cheek. As little bun now sleeps between Mark and I (so much for investing in an expensive baby cot!!), we can no longer hold hands when we sleep, as was our usual practice. However I have found myself a (even better) replacement.. I have begun letting little bun grab hold of my finger during bedtime!

I love him so much I think my heart is going to explode.

My son MUST love me a lot... he gave me a 'love bite'/ hickey on my arm. :)

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Happy Valentine's Day to my darling hubby... there's no time to make you a special dinner this year, but I know you wouldn't mind it one single bit because looking at little bun every single day is a gift itself.

14 years ago, I was 'attacked' by a chubby toddler armed with a bow and arrow.. His arrow hit me and I soon started noticing and falling for this guy who stays next door who keeps buying me food, flowers and strawberry milk (??). Although you are still buying me food (often) and flowers (rarely **hint**) I am glad you have stopped buying me strawberry milk (I still don't like it).

Love you sooooo much... I am blessed to be in a relationship where I get to fall in love over and over again with the same person who is my husband!!

** Psst.. I ironed all your clothes today... There were 8 business shirts, 4 pants, 2 polo tops and 4 T-shirts. That's my Valentine's Day gift to you!! **

I really like this photo that was taken recently.. it'd have been ideal if Huskee is also in it. Then again, I don't think he'll appreciate/tolerate being squished so close to Hershey while we try to fit everyone into the frame. (and it'd be good if I have longer arms.. as in REALLY long)

I have a friend/ex-colleague who was trying to conceive her second child around the same time I started my fertility treatments for little bun. Her firstborn was also conceived via IVF and now that he is old enough, he asked her for a little sibling. Both she and her husband were also very keen to grow their family. She and I went to the same clinic and thus was able to share a lot of information. There were even times when we went for our appointments together. During the times when Mark was overseas and not able to administer my daily FSH injections, she would administer them for me in the office. We were 'sub-fertility buddies' in a way and enouraged and supported each other a lot along the way.

In her case, her doctor recommended her to proceed directly to IVF and she went through a few failed cycles and took some breaks in between due to work commitments. I caught up with her over lunch not long ago and she told me she'd going for another cycle in 3 days time. She had decided that it'd be be her last attempt, regardless if she succeeds or not cos it was simply to taxing emotionally and financially.

After an anxious 2 week wait, she texted me today to let me know that she's pregnant.. and with TWINS!!! I am so freaking happy for her.. (if I were a dog, I will be doing zoomies around the house)! Little bun has 2 new playmates!!